Our top 10 ridiculous Jacob Zuma quotes, then and now

The man is pretty much one big contradiction. From his views on Christianity to using Christianity to win votes and even lambasting homosexuality by using… wait for it, Christianity.

Still, it makes for entertaining reading.

Apparently the ANC is a one-way ticket to heaven

“When you vote for the ANC, you are also choosing to go to heaven. When you don’t vote for the ANC you should know that you are choosing that man who carries a fork… who cooks people. When you are carrying an ANC membership card, you are blessed. When you get up there, there are different cards used but when you have an ANC card, you will be let through to go to heaven.”

Even though his party seems to be the way into heaven, Zuma blames Christianity for Africa’s problems

“Those were times that the religious people refer to as dark days but we know that, during those times, there were no orphans or old-age homes. Christianity has brought along these things.”

The ANC vs South Africa

“I argued one time with someone who said the country comes first and I said as much as I understand that I think my organisation, the ANC, comes first.”

His views on homosexuality

“Same sex marriage is a disgrace to the nation and to God. When I was growing up, ‘ungqingili’ — homosexuals in Zulu — could not stand in front of me, I would knock him out.”

His views on the perfect wife

“When I was in Venda recently I was so impressed to see how people there express respect for other people. A woman would clap her hands and even lie down to show respect. I was so impressed. If I was not already married to my wives I would go to Venda to look for a woman.”

Back in 1994, when asked whether he would like to become president, he gave this surprising answer

“I would prefer to leave after one term.… Even if it is not one term, I think in the second term I should be able to … begin the process of winding down. I would allow open debate, not make people guess what is going to happen in terms of succession. This would allow the organisation to indicate what it wants. But if it was me deciding, if the ANC had made me president of the country (I would prefer one term).”

He also seems to believe SA is safer than it looks

“Our media, which is very open and report on really everything, tend to exaggerate the crime issue…This is why one gets the impression that we have much more crime than other countries.”

The president’s views on why women must have children

“People today think being single is nice. It’s actually not right. That’s a distortion. You’ve got to have kids. Kids are important to a woman because they give extra training to a woman, to be a mother.”

When asked whether ANC members should be in charge of independent institutions

“…having a member who serves in the Government and who also belongs to the structures of the party does not retard this particular objective the separation of party and state. It does not.”

Finally, when he was asked whether he is a crook

“Me? Well, I don’t know, I must go to a dictionary and learn what a crook is. I’ve never been a crook.”

You shouldn’t blame the president for what he says any more than you blame a three year-old for what he does… it’s just not fair really.